We all have things in life that we wish had worked out differently. Whether it is an ill-advised decision or a lost opportunity from times gone by, there are things in our past that serve as reminders of our inadequacies and failures. When we look upon these events and learn from them they become building blocks toward a more successful future. Unfortunately, too often we allow these events to become beacons for disappointment, discouragement, and regret. These times in our lives when we have made mistakes will indeed define us, but they can become defining moments from which we gain wisdom and grow, or they can become anchors from the past that weigh us down as we attempt to rise above our past failings and press toward a brighter future.
Alexander Graham Bell once said “When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” In this quote he captured the essence of what so many people become entrapped by – living in the Valley of Regret.
The Valley of Regret is littered with the broken dreams and shattered lives of those who have lived. In this valley discouragement and despair fill the air, and condemnation lurks in the haze that can be seen in every direction. One cannot see very far in the Valley of Regret, as this haze obstructs the view, and the broken dreams that are strewn about tend to draw one’s focus away from those things in the distance. The Valley of Regret is home to the mental mazes of “What If” and “If only I had…” – places that lure the mind into their endless twists and turns that bring no peace.
Have you visited the Valley of Regret before? Do you live there?
Regret
Regret is often defined as “A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.” By definition it denotes mental anguish over past events – events that cannot be changed. We all have plenty of events from our pasts that we wish had turned out differently. I can look back through the years and ask myself, “What if” and think “If only I had…” in so many different instances, but it does nothing to change what happened, where I am now, or most importantly – where I am headed. If I allow myself to be lured into these mind games by Satan, my life becomes defined by my past, and dictated by it. My decisions are directly influenced by what has happened previously, and not by how God desires to lead me now. As Bell said, “we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.” We are meant to LEARN from our past, and press on toward the call of God for our lives. That call is in our future, whether it is tomorrow or 10 years from now. You will not find the call of God in your past, nor will you ever fulfill it by dwelling there.
In Jeremiah 29:11, God makes it very clear where our focus should be, because it is where HIS focus is – “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” His thoughts toward us are to give us a FUTURE and a HOPE!
Hope
Hope can be defined as “favorable and confident expectation”. Hope can also be viewed as the opposite of regret. Where regret laments the loss of the desired results of an event, hope is a favorable and confident expectation that the desired results in a situation will occur! Unfulfilled dreams are the breeding grounds of regret, but dreams that have a promise of success are the essence of hope! What promises do you have from the Word of God? What dream has He placed in your heart to fulfill? The keys to fulfilling that dream are found in seeking God and following His leading, not revisiting your past failures. Let God teach you from them and instruct you in how to overcome them as you press toward what He has asked of you.
Satan will do his best to lead you back down into the Valley of Regret, to squelch the dreams and callings that have been placed in you. If you haven’t already done so, repent of those old mistakes and move forward with God out of the valley and onward to the higher ground that God has ordained for you to take. What God has forgiven is forgotten by Him, as He desires to move forward. If Satan continues to bring up those failures (and he will as often as he can get away with it), remind him that you have repented of those actions, have been forgiven by God of them, and they are no longer a point of contention for you. Remind him of the promise you have from Romans 8:28-29, and let him know that YOU know those past events aren’t the end of you or your call:
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”
Those events from the past can be used by God to work for your good as you are seeking to fulfill His purpose. You may not see how at this time, but you have a promise that you can place your hope and confident expectation in. Allow those past failures to become only testimonies to the grace of God, and not monuments to your shortcomings. Then you can focus on the open doors that God brings before you, and step through them into the plan and purpose He has ordained for you.
The Valley of Regret doesn’t have to be anything more than place you’ve visited before and decided that from now on you’ll take an alternate route. Your hope and future awaits!
Jeremiah 17:7-8
7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD.
8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters,
Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes;
But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought,
Nor will cease from yielding fruit.
