Are you familiar with the term “adulting”? As my kids have left home and entered college, I’ve learned that “adulting” describes responsibilities and activities that young adults have to face as they become more independent, self-sufficient, and mature. Every so often we get a phone call and hear “I don’t like adulting!” This usually has to do with paying rent, dealing with car insurance, going to the see the doctor alone, etc. – all things that most adults see as part of everyday life. I think back to my early years after high school, and must admit that I didn’t find “adulting” the most enjoyable time of my life either. Yet it was a necessary stage that I had to navigate in order to progress in life.
Recently I got to hear another “adulting” saga, and it occurred to me that if there is natural “adulting”, then there must be a time of spiritual “adulting” as well. There is a place in our spiritual walk where, if we want to grow and progress further in life, we are going to have to face things that challenge us to learn more and be more than we currently are.
My daughter had to talk to the office manager at her apartment complex – by herself. This was a new situation for her. Her mother or I had always been with her to help handle and explain business to her – and here she found herself on her own. She was “adulting”. It was uncomfortable, but she handled herself well and gained experience and confidence. Adulting had stretched her, but has also strengthened her and grown her.
Spiritual Adulting
It is the same in our spiritual walk. If we want to be mature in the ways of God, we have to be willing to grow. Notice I said in the ways of God. Too often people read this type of statement and see “in the things of God”. God’s ways are how He sees things, thinks on things, and acts in a given situation. God’s ways and His power go hand in hand. Moses is an excellent example of this, as we remember what was said of Moses in Psalm 103:7 –
7 He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel.
When people think of the “things” of God, they are usually thinking of His acts. God taught Moses His ways so that Moses could become more like Him, and in turn Moses could teach the Israel God’s ways. His ways are measures of spiritual maturity. His acts aren’t always a true measure. (See 1 Corinthians chapters 12, 13) God’s desire is for us to know His ways and walk in them. In doing so we become more like Him, in harmony with His Spirit. We are able to act in ways that please Him and glorify His Name. We become His children so that we become representations of who He is to the world around us. Jesus spoke of this in John 14:9-10:
9 Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you such a long time, and yet you have not known Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father. So how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 10 Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own authority. But the Father who lives in Me does the works.
Which takes us back to spiritual adulting. Is it really necessary? Yes it is! It saddens me to see people who haven’t taken responsibility in their spiritual lives to grow and progress into maturity in God. Sometimes it is like they are the spiritual version of a 30 year old living in his mom’s basement. He is attending church, reading and looking to God. Yet he isn’t looking to God to grow him into a better version of who He has created him to be. He is looking to God to do all the work. I’m not saying this to belittle people in this state, but to illustrate its existence.
God expects His children to act Like Him
Adulting means taking responsibility for your life and learning to deal with life’s events. Some events are situational, others are relational. In either case, God is expecting us to grow up.
In Hebrews 5:11-12 the writer describes this:
12 For though by now you should be teachers, you need someone to teach you again the first principles of the oracles of God and have come to need milk rather than solid food. 13 Everyone who lives on milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a baby.
Those he was writing to had been taught, yet they had not grown and were unskilled in the word of righteousness. They needed to gain experience and knowledge in the teachings and ways of God so that they could become skilled. They needed spiritual adulting.
So why is this so important? It is because God has a desire and expectation for our lives. He’s not satisfied with us living in His basement playing video games and eating cheese balls. He has a destiny for each of us to fulfill that is outside of the walls of His house. Just as Jesus had a mission to “show the Father” to the world around Him, so do you and I.
Developing our human spirit involves us growing in the ways of God, which leads us into spiritual maturity. That maturity is displayed in our lives by our changing to be more and more like Jesus, being an example of love and hope to a world desperately in need of both.
Paul wrote of this in Romans 12:
2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
This transformation has to do with our thoughts, attitudes, emotions, and actions. That is the essence of spiritual maturity – life that is reflective of God’s heart and attitudes. In Galatians 5:22, Paul listed God’s own character traits that the believer should walk in:
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control.
Our capacity to receive more of and from God involves Him having more of us. The Holy Spirit will have more of us as we apply ourselves to become more like Jesus. That is the true goal, to be more like Him in every way. It’s very important that we keep in mind how Jesus interacted with people and the impact He had on their lives through His kindness, love and gentleness. The character of God in Him touched those around Him. It functions 365 days a year, 24 hours a day.
How do we grow in God?
We grow by spending time with Him in prayer and in conversation, allowing Him to work in us to make the necessary changes for us to be more like Him.
We grow by studying His Word so that we know and understand things the way God sees them and speak of them as He does.
We grow by walking out those changes in our lives.
I’ve found that spending time with God just to know Him is what brings me into a place where I can speak to Him and He speaks to me. It’s about growing in my relationship with Him, not about what He can do for me. This allows me to know more of Him and learn what I need to do to become more like Him. Those personal changes free me to be a vessel He uses as He wills. The more like Him I become, the more mature I become. I apply His Word and His ways to my situations, looking to see His results. Lives around us are impacted for the better. All thanks to the “Adulting” process.
