My wife has several sayings around our house when she is dealing with our kids, and one of my favorites is, “I think not!” An example would be the following:
One of the teenagers would say, “I think I’ll wait until tomorrow to take a shower.”
Mom would reply, “I think not! You’ve been outside in the heat sweating all day, you need to take a shower tonight.”
With four kids growing up in our home, she had plenty of opportunities to use this phrase over the years. Yet in all of those years, my favorite is from a time when she wasn’t the one who said those words.
When our youngest was four, she had an afternoon when my wife asked her to pick up her toys that were left in the floor. In the moments that followed we heard the words “I think not!”, but in our four year old’s voice. As my wife walked over to her to ask her what she had said, our little girl looked up at her and said:
“Mommy, I’m sorry your words came out of my mouth.”
I hid in the hallway, half in disbelief on what I had just heard – the other half to keep from laughing out loud and having my little girl see me. My wife had to turn her face to keep from laughing. It was cute, direct, and – ouch! – True. Those were indeed mom’s words that came out of her mouth.
When I reflect back, it brings a smile to my face. It was hilarious, and my wife handled it beautifully. Our little girl was sincere in her apology, and the toys did get picked up.
Managing Our Disappointments
Those words in that little voice remind me that words come out of my mouth each day, and I need to be pay attention to them. It also serves as a reminder to pay attention to whose words are coming out of my mouth. I’ve come to learn that if I want to see God’s results in my life, I have to see things the way He sees them. I also have to speak about them as He would speak of them. That’s where His words in my mouth are important.
It’s irrational to believe that my situation is going to get better if I continually speak badly about it. My negative words and a negative attitude aren’t likely to affect a positive change. What will happen is that my attitude and expectations will move somewhere between low and rock-bottom. In that place you not only see the glass as half empty. You also end up complaining about the water temperature and the tablecloth.
What I’ve found is that people often act this way because it is defense mechanism to try and manage their disappointments. If things are made to look like they won’t be good, should they turn out less than stellar there is less disappointment. The person doesn’t allow for looking forward to something until it is almost upon them. They “don’t want to get their hopes up”. Why? Because they don’t want to have to deal with the disappointment.
The question is – Are you trusting in someone for the future or are do you approach things with your fingers crossed, wishing them all to fall into place for you? If you are wishing things work out as you desire, you are looking to yourself or circumstance as the determining factors in your future. On the other hand, if you are trusting in someone with your future, circumstances can change – but your confidence is in that person to help you have your desired result.
Years ago I came to the conclusion that I had the possibility of better results if I stopped trying to manage my disappointments and worked instead at watching over my words and attitude. I found that in managing my disappointments I wasn’t recognizing when God was moving on my behalf. I would just explain it away, not wanting to let it get my hopes up. Yet that was EXACTLY what those times were – God moving on my behalf to encourage me to continue trusting Him to be who He said He would be and to do what He said He would do. Can you say “self-sabotage”?
Thing changes when I began to look at my circumstance and talk about who God was to me. I started talking about my situations and saying what He had to say about them. I wasn’t oblivious to what I was facing. Instead, I was determined not to allow all the possible negative outcomes to be what I thought on or talked about. I focused on what my hope was.
Take Your Medicine
Think of it this way – Most pharmaceutical commercials on TV today spend at least 30 seconds reciting all the things that could possibly go wrong with you if you take the advertised medicine. Many people go ahead and take the medicine because they are looking for what it can do to benefit them – they don’t shrink away because there is a slight possibility an undesired side effect may occur. They also don’t go around every day reciting what those side effects could be and look for them to happen. They are taking the medicine hoping that it will improve their condition. When someone asks them why they are taking the medicine, they tell them what that medicine is supposed to be doing to help them. Blue pills, patches, creams – the patient is looking for results. It should be no different with the rest of our lives – especially when we have a loving God who wants to give us a life worth living.
Now is the time to be speaking words that affirm who God wants to be in your situation.
Psalm 91:2
I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust.”
Say His words. See things His way.
Psalm 91:14-16
“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
15 He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.”
As you do this your focus will change. Your attitude will resist sinking, as will your expectations.
There are those who have tried this and been disappointed. It didn’t work for them, so it must not work. My heart goes out to them, as I know what that disappointment feels like. I could have let that disappoint me stop me just as it has them – stop trusting, stop hoping, stop believing that God can and will move. Years ago I received some excellent counsel, and it has made all the difference in this area. I was told, “Don’t stop trusting God because you are disappointed. Trust Him in spite of it. That is faith.”
I’ll admit there are times I find myself not applying this in my life as well as I should. Yet I can say that it has served me in life time and time again. God is faithful. That’s the bottom line. He’s seen me through so much, and in the times when I’ve faced disappointment but chosen to keep trusting Him – I have made it to the other side of the situation in fine shape. My glass is half full. I’m more focused now on the one who fills it than on what is missing. My prayer is that you experience the same in your own life.
Let your words be His words. You won’t be sorry you let them come out of your mouth.
