Six years ago today my family’s life changed forever. I went in for a routine colonoscopy, and within hours learned that I had latter stage cancer. Our plans for the week were shot. Our plans for our future, well, those were all up in the air. My wife has described that day to me, as I was out for a few hours from the anesthesia. She said that the nurses and the doctor came in to see her, and their faces were long and their expressions troubled. It was obvious there was something very wrong. The doctor proceeded to explain his findings and show her pictures of what he had found. It was large, black, and malevolent looking. I had a large tumor that had all the signs of being malignant.
On 3 separate occasions I would awake from my anesthesia and the doctor would explain to me and my wife what he had found and what I was facing. The first two times I held what appeared to be a lucid conversation, only to lay back down and fall back asleep. The dose they had given me was stronger than we thought, and I would go back out, only to repeat the scenario in another half hour. It was only on the third time that I remained awake, although still fairly groggy.
My wife had to go through this discussion each time. That initial discussion she had with the doctor hit her like a Mack truck. The next three were as if the truck came around the corner and hit all over again. She was drained and numb by the time I finally was able to go home. I hadn’t really come around enough to understand everything yet, so she had to go through the entire explanation again when we were home and I had all of my faculties. She is one strong, beautiful woman.
Once I was coherent, I read the doctor’s report and looked at the pictures of the tumor. I had to wrap my head around what had happened earlier in the day. By the time we had left the doctor’s office, we had appointments with an oncologist and a surgeon scheduled for the following days. It was obvious that my case was very serious.
I took some time to myself that night to study over everything and find some semblance of peace in the midst of having my world turned upside-down. I got out my bible and read, and then I spent some time talking to God about my situation. I poured out my thoughts and feelings to Him. I got everything I could off of my chest during that time, and at the end I told Him that I knew He wasn’t my problem in this. I wouldn’t blame Him for the cancerous tumor. Instead, I reminded myself that in the midst of the uncertainty and danger of the situation – He was my solution. When I had finished all of this, there was silence.
Then I heard the Lord speak to my heart with these words: “Trust Me to be who I said I would be to you, and to do what I said I would do for you.” That, in a nutshell, was the path to making it through the mess I had before me. It was my approach to each successive day, from surgery to chemo to radiation to more surgery. He has indeed been who He said He would be to me, and has done everything He said He would do for me. Six years from that fateful day I am alive and kicking, and healthier than the doctors ever expected. You can read more about how God did the miraculous in my situation here.
So as I celebrate the past six years of His goodness and faithfulness, I’ll ask, “What are you facing today?” God is not a respecter of persons. I wasn’t holding a get out of cancer free card that only I could have. I was only holding onto His hand, His words, and His character to see me through. You can do the same.
Remember, He’s not the cause of your issue, He is the solution to it. That’s the place to start. You can’t trust someone you are blaming. You can trust someone who you see can as your help.
I’ll leave you with this passage from Psalm 27 that was an encouragement to me during those dark times. I hope it will be to you as well:
The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
2 When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident….
…Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.
14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.
